Jealousy:

An Awakening to Life's Possibilities


Jealousy is actually a blessing. I know this sounds very cliche but it recently hit me how true this actually is…. Let me tell you a little story…

Growing up my family was not wealthy by any means. In fact, we had some very strapped times. I used to lay in bed day dreaming about being really really wealthy. I didn’t imagine all the purses or houses I could buy. Instead I imagined what I could put in those things, what I could do with massive amounts of resources. One of those dreams was to be an almost Willi Wonka character but instead of a fantastical chocolate factory I would have a lab to explore endless theories and possibilities. I would hire and work with some of the greatest minds.

I had so many questions that usually went something along the lines of… “but why isn’t this possible?” I dreamt of having some of the best scientists, engineers, designers, etc within arms reach and ask for their detailed attention and brilliance in bringing some really cool innovations into reality. This was my vivid day dream. It came and went but always came back. For so many years it was the most honest part of me.

Years later I’m sitting at my computer in my small one bedroom home and a short documentary pops up about the billionaire who owns five hour energy, Manoj Bhargava. I click and begin watching. I’m glued to the screen watching as Manoj talks about how he spends his money.

He has a massive lab on the five hour energy compound and he asks these incredibly creative scientists to create things like a method for desalinating sea water into palatable water and then, to put it on a moveable barge so it can go where it’s needed most.

All I can think is “Holy Shit! This man has my dream life!”. And then the jealousy set in. It was lingering there the whole time beneath my face struck into impressed delight. I didn’t want to feel anything icky. Manoj seemed very in tune with his deeper sense of purpose and I didn’t want to project any of my own doubts, insecurities or emotions onto a beautiful accomplishment. I didn’t want to but it still happened, because I am human and humans are pre-set to feel.

And yet, this assumption was actually incorrect. I could be in control of my emotions if I left space enough to hear them. In this case specifically I realized that this other individual having the life I have dreamt about and the life I desire does not diminish from my dream. It does not mean that I can not have it as well. Where is it written that only one person can have or be dot dot dot? The more inspiration, abundance, joy, creativity, imagination… there is in the world the better for all of us.

The real key to changing my focal point was in the doubt and emotion it stirred up. All those years of dreaming up this super cool life I had also always has little tiny whispers of doubt. A barely audible skeptical voice at the back of my head saying “ya, right?”. I hadn’t fully believed that this could be my life. But it wasn’t at an overbearing volume, and so I pushed the doubt to the rear and went on with my day dreams.

As soon as I stopped pushing the jealously and doubt back in it’s box and listened to what the jealousy was really trying to tell me I realized I had been blind to the power of life and this universe. In seeing that documentary the universe was reminding me of that day dream. The most clear, focused, truest part of me knew what it wanted to do in this world. I have always known what I wanted to share in this reality and the universe was reminding me with a wink and nudge saying “see! It is possible!”

I became so light at that point. Everything had shifted for me. I gave myself permission to become fully immersed in the day dream. There was someone out there who had already done “IT” and I could learn how as well. Everything is possible if you shift your perception.

And suddenly, with such grace and ease my mind set evolved and I found myself thinking things like “I wonder if this billionaire dude would mentor me? How cool would that me?”


https://medium.com/@gilliancalmus/jealousy-an-awakening-to-lifes-possibilities-71b5b00ac8fc

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